it's weird being a new person

so... i realized recently, while my friends were visiting from florida, that i'm a different person now than i was when i lived there. i mean, figuratively we're all different each moment than the moment before, but i don't mean it in that philosophical way. i mean that i don't even know who that person was!

looking back, i'm surprised anyone even hung out with me! i'm still goofy and clumsy and moody at times. but oh man was i a snot. and SO selfish.

i'm still selfish, but i must've cut down some, because i don't annoy MYSELF as much.

i still like to go to the movies. i still have 2 or 3 tv shows i keep track of (LOST, american idol, so you think you can dance, the office (that's four, but they don't all air at the same time)). but for the most part, i feel like God's shown me who He wants me to be, and it's simply SO different than my previous existence.

i've no clearcut purpose as far as a career goes. i don't know where i'll live over the course of my life or with whom i'll live it.

but i feel like air and sunlight and good books make so much more sense to fill my life with than entertainment and craziness. they just feel closer to what God must love. quiet seems so much healthier than noise. music so much better than chatter. two or three good friends better than a passle of so and sos.

i'm so thankful He's made me new. IS making me new. i can't imagine what i'll look like a few more years down the road. but in this moment and stage in my life, i feel like i'm where i'm supposed to be doing what i'm supposed to be doing: soaking in as much beauty and life as possible! and being grown.

last night i thanked God for all He's been doing in me. the breaking and the humbling. i told Him that it's not fun, that it hurts but that "it's...... good". it's the only word i can think of to describe it. not fun, not a good time or what i would've chosen for myself. just good.