Everything’s blooming, and I wilt.
Every one is blooming.
How can there be such juxtaposition in my head?
Walking with God is so painful sometimes.
But were it not for His sovereignty.
You try to be outward focused.
Try and be “upward” focused.
Nice Christian term.
But my SELF feels like weeping
And my SELF feels like shaking my fist,
If not at the heavens, then at people around me.
Being left is no fun.
It’s horrible and isolating and foggy and not at all heroic.
It proves me a child despite my age and pretty words.
Proves me not-so-faithful.
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