Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to be with God? If you’ve been a Christian for any amount of time, or even a day, you probably have. It’s one of those days for me.
Last night, as I left my parents house, I was really sad that my sister was leaving the next day (today). The weepiness stayed with me all night. Except it turned from sadness about my sister’s departure to longing and mourning for the Savior from whom I’m separated.
I just… I HATE the distance. I know that were I face to face with the Maker of all things that I couldn’t stand it. I’m reminded of the Mercy Me song “would I sing for you Jesus, would I be able to speak at all”. I think it’ll be the latter for me since I’m so chatty here on earth, and Heaven will be the most incomparable thing to earth I’ll ever know. But even knowing I’d be overcome, struck blind and deaf, or scared for my life because of the depravity fully exposed in me at that moment, I just want Him near me. I’m so tired today of the air, the time, the sin between us. I know He’s waiting each moment for the time when He can scoop me up in His arms, stronger and holier than words allow, without darkness between us, and kiss my face and tell me He’s mine.
Some days, the pretty day or the overcast day or the rain or the wind remind me of the Lord, how He moves and blesses me and loves me. But today all those things seem just shy of what I’m made for. They are making me jealous for the eternity I was created to inhabit, the God I cannot touch no matter my uprightness. They are teases. I want to punch the wind and tell it to quit mocking me.
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